Fall 2011

Well, summer goes by just too quickly. I have had some health problems this summer. We still are not sure what they are. Unfortunately, I have not been able to make it out to enjoy much of the summer. Im still working at mediconnect. I have tried to find a job as a Social Worker, but just cant  seem to get one. 
Jacob has finally completed all his school work. Now we are starting the ever fun job search for him as well. It is really hard to look seriously when we are not sure where or when we will be able to move.
Sara is very involved with everything again this year. She is student body executive secretary. She is Vice President of speech and debate. She is involved with Drama, FFA, and seminary. It is only 2 weeks in to school, and she is making us exhausted already. I am very proud of her though. This week she stood up for her values. She has been ridiculed and ostercized by some people for it, but she still stayed strong.
Jessica is in high school this year. Right before school started her best friends dad was killed in an idustrial accident, and that was hard on Jess. She is doing okay. She has sure grown since we have moved her. She is no longer a little girl. She finished her first quilt this summer. She is always trying to do kind things for other people.
Sometimes, I feel stuck here. I want to be on my own again. I am very grateful for my mother putting us up. But really miss being our own family. There is a reason for everything.  There is a reason I am still here. I just wish i knew what it was. Oh well, C'est la vie!
Hope everyone is having an amazing Fall. I look forward to seeing our deer family again. I have missed them this summer. Not looking so forward to the snow and cold. But I will find beauty in it when it comes.

I'm back!!

I have been so blessed this past year and it is time for me to acknowledge that and move on from the "tired" post. I am still very tired, but it may be for medical reasons and I am getting tests done to find out why.
It is the end of 2010 and I look back and realize how far I have come. Yes, I am living in my "mommies" house but I am helping her out a lot too. My testimony has grown a lot!! At the beginning of the year I did not trust anyone including my Heavenly Father, but my trust level has grown a lot. I even trust a few people. It is amazing!!

A year ago I was constantly afraid. I have since learned faith can not live where fear lives. I still occassionally find fear creeping back into my thoughts, but faith is there much more often than fear. I know things happen for a reason (and that reason is not to make my life miserable or punish me.)

I am overcoming an addiction I didn't even realize I had. It has been 15 months since my last relapse. I don't even think about relapsing much now. The addiction actually repulses me and I don't want to participate in those actions. I am now helping other people overcome their addictions.

My children have grown and flurished. They are accomplishing so much and growing so much. It is amazing to watch them grow and make righteous decisions. They are able to participate in things they have never been able to participate in before. They get to do school things and go to competitions. They are involved with church and all the many things that entails in this area. Sara is even auditioning to be in the new movie the church is putting out about the new testament. I am not sure what we will do with her if she gets a part as she will have to be in the Salt Lake area and we are not there, but I know it will work out. (Faith not Fear)

Well, I probably better go now. Grandma is hungry for breakfast. And we are both wanting to clean a little before the new year. It's nicer to start a new year off clean and fresh in so many levels. This next few months I hope to get my temple recommend again as well. Just had to throw that in. I love you! I am glad those who are in my life are in my life. I am glad for the many blessings and miracles that I have had. May each of you have a wonderful new year!!!

Tired!!!

I am so tired! I seems like I am always going or having to stay up late. I am exhausted!!! Right now I am waiting up for Sara to get home from the Spring Fling dance. She is going with "the" group, that everyone wants to be a part of. She was out late for a party last night, I made her come home early at 11pm. We had to get up early to go do some shopping in Provo to be back in time for her date. We have had late nights on Tuesday (yw/ym stake dance...still trying to understand why it was on a school night), Wednesday (my group that got out at 11:30ish), Friday (the party), and tonight. It has been a very slow week at work, most people got to go home and take days off (which is never allowed). I however I am trying to get benefits and have trained for the other division, and they were busy, so I got to stay and help out. I really need the benefits. I have been looking for other work, but there really is not much around here.
Other than being tired, I have hurt my back and had severe stomach issues this past two months. Most of my money has gone to the doctor. But at least I have a job to pay the doctor. :) I have paid off my car, and also been able to buy the things the kids have needed.
This is going to be my last blog for a while. I can't figure out how to make it "cute". Besides the fact I am just not having enough time to maintain it. I would love to post pictures and make it cute, but I am just unable to at this time. I will still follow my friends... and family, when I am able to. I enjoy them. You can keep up with me the little bit I am on facebook. Or you can email me...I am only getting to them once a week if I am lucky. Have a great ....however long I am off. Love ya!!!!

Lots of changes

I passed my SSW. In October, we had to move in with my mom. It has been a struggle but a blessing too! I was able to find a job the 4th day being here. I hope to post more soon. I am really tired. Love yall!!!

Finally!!!

I am finally totally done with school! I can now put the title of BSW after my signature. WOOT!!! I am going to go sit in on a class I was unable to take, but I dont have to do any of the homework and the teacher is not even making me go through the college and pay, he is just letting me come to learn. I am very excited! Now to relax for a minute or two, but not too much... still have to find work. :)
Jacob is very unhappy that summer is about over. He is not excited about his senior year, and I am unsure he will graduate. I hope so!!! His hair is the longest of everyones in the family. He is definately taller than me now at 5' 11".
Sara just cut all her hair and is donating it to locks of love. They make wigs and donate them to children who can not afford them. She is excited to start High School. She has many friends there already. She is anxious to be driving. Unfortunately her mom isnt brave enough to take her very often.
Jessica is enjoying her summer. Next week she goes to her first girls camp. I hope that she survives... she gets allergies really bad. They are only going to Tremonton though. So they will be close.
Well, I guess I better get going. Have a great day and keep smiling!!! Life is great!

College Graduation

May 1st, 2009. I got to walk for graduation from Weber State University. Here I am with a group of friends right before we got to walk. Most of us in this picture have to finish 10 more weeks of classes, but we will definately do that. These are the people I have had all the same classes with for the past year or more. I was so excited to graduate. We got there a little later than we were suppossed to.. so I left the kids in the car and ran in. They had to take themselves in and find a place to sit. Good thing they are older now. I graduate cum laude (?). Which is one of the honors.

Mom and Nora made it to the graduation. They brought me these beautiful roses, a teddy bear and balloon. I was just happy to have them there. I will post thier pictures later. My camera wasnt working too well, so I have to "borrow" other peoples pics. ;)

Sorry this pic is so small.... I had to copy it from the web. I have to watch out for Blaine. He is trying to scream at me... we were so excited!

My friends the perrys also came. When I walked out of the tunnel, there was a huge sign that said way to go Pam. I felt so loved. My children also suffered through the occassion. After we were all done, Mom and Nora took us out to eat at the Olive Garden. It was a lot of fun. I was so tired... when we got home I took a nap for a couple of hours and was still asleep early that night. Thank you everyone for your support. I love you all!!!!

Easter Tradition--Mtn Man Rendezvous

A few years ago, when I was going through my divorce, my brothers introduced me and my children to Mountain Man Rendezvous. They were really into it, and my children really enjoyed it.

My children decided it was fun, but we had to dress like everyone else. So we dressed up for the next one. It was much funner!!!I dont have digital photos of the first one's we dressed up for, but here is our evolution the past couple years.... This is my family in 2006.

I think this was the same year.... We got ready at our uncles house, so they really had fun getting Jacob ready that time!!!

This is us the year before last. Last year my camera was not working.

This is us this year.. Jacobs out fit looked awesome. So did Sara's. I was just recovering from being sick.. so I didnt put too much effort into mine.

There is one held every year just 30 miles from our home on Easter weekend. So, we dress up and go every year. It has become another fun little easter tradition. Happy Easter everyone!!!

I have survived

I have survived my first month of internship! I not only survived, but I am ahead of where I should be and my supervisor is very impressed. I am exhausted though. I am number six on the alternate list for the advanced standing program at grad school and he said ten people usually drop. soooo hopefully. I have been really worried about it though, but a friend said it is easy compared to this year.

I have not hit any more children in the head during singing time, however, I did trip over the stool they stand on to give thier talks. :D I will figure it out sooner or later.

My kids have been awesome. They have been taking care of all the house work, meals, etc. While I have been working on my school work. I have the best kids in the world!
Well, I better go... it has been a long day, week, month, year. :D Keep smiling!

Singing Time
So... I am the new assistant primary director for our ward. This last week I just did opening exercises. Most of the songs went ok... however..... we sing to the kids whose birthdays are this upcoming week. We had two children. I called them to the front and we started to sing to them... but as I was conducting I hit the one kid in the head... just smacked him up side of his head. I was soooo embarrassed...I dont think anyone else even noticed though... Whew! Next time I will have them move over. :D
Sara took her written drivers test, and barely did not pass... so we will go back in two weeks. Jake chose not to go this time. I am doing extremely well at my internship. and Jess is cooking up a storm.... yesterday she made deviled eggs, now I will have to stock up on eggs for her :D
Keep smiling and have a great week
:D

Whew!!!

I have recovered... sort of. But this week was the first week of school... wanna talk about crazy???? Sunday I got a new calling at church. I was put in as the assistant primary choirister. I get to do open exercises on Sunday. :D I hope I do ok. Then we had some problems with the ex-husband, but do not want to go into details here ;)
Monday we all went back to school. I am doing my internship at McKay Dee Hospital. I was really nervous about it, but am loving it as of yesterday. I had 17 hours under my belt now... Im almost an expert. Our job is to make sure people that are being discharged will be safe and have a place to go. We line up nursing homes, home health, and family needs. It is really cool. (and if there is an emergency on our floor, we get to go comfort the family).
I am taking 12 credit hours and have a major paper I need to write this semester....little pieces here and there, and I have my big presentattion in 10 days. It is crazy! I am still working about 16 hours a week in the pediatricians office.
The kids are totally back into the swing of things. But not happy with the extra work they are going to have to do, while I am doing my stuff.
I just wanted everyone to know... I am ok. I have survived the heartbreak. I was devasted, but I know there is something else out there. Have a great evening everyone... and Keep Smiling!!!!

Heart Break

So... I thought I had found the man of my dreams. He seemed so perfect!!! However, this past two weeks he has been avoiding me....painfully so. I finally got a hold of him tonight, and he told me "he just has too much on his plate". I was very hesitant to even like the guy, but I fell for him, and now he has rejected me!!! Im beginning to think there is something terribly wrong with me!! He told me he was avoiding me because he didnt want to hurt my feelings. What a bunch of malarky!!! Great way to bring in the New Year... it is ending about as good as it started! Hopefully next year will be better. There nort... i posted another blog

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Everyone

I just wanted to take a moment and tell everyone Merry Christmas. This year has been full of trials, but also full of cheer. I am very thankful for my family and friends who have helped me and my children survive this past year.

Here are a few pictures of the party we attended with some friends last week. Thanks Karrie for the pics :D

This is Sara giving a big cheesy grin

This is Jessica enjoying her spaghetti and cheesy bread

Jacob and his white elephant

Me and my dorky glasses

Sara and A'leese after Sara fell asleep during the movie and A'leese got bored

Well that is all for tonight. Keep smiling and be happy :D